Subject: THE JUDGEMENT
One evening, after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking
down the avenue when they observed a rather well dressed and attractive
young lady walking ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and
remarked, "I'd give $250.00 to spend the night with that woman."
Much to their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark, turned
around, and replied, "I'll take you up on that offer." She had a neat
appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his companion good
night, the man accompanied the young lady to her apartment.
The following morning the man presented her with $125.00 as he prepared to
leave. She demanded the rest of the money, stating "If you don't give me
the other $125.00, I'll sue you for it." He laughed, saying "I'd like to
see you get it on these grounds."
The next day he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his
presence in court as a defendant in a lawsuit. He hurried to his lawyer
and explained the details of the case. His lawyer said "She can't
possibly get a judgment against you on such grounds, but it will be
interesting to see how her case will be presented."
After the usual preliminaries, the lady's lawyer addressed the court as
follows: "Your honor, my client, this lady, is the owner of a piece of
property, a garden spot, surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery,
which property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specified
length of time for the sum of $250.00. The defendant took possession of
the property, used it extensively for the purposes for which it was
rented, but upon evacuating the premises, he paid only $125.00, one-half of
the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive, since it is restricted
property, and we ask judgment be granted against the defendant
to assure payment of the balance."
The defendant's lawyer was impressed
and amused by the way his opponent had presented the case. His defense,
therefore was somewhat different from the way he originally planned to
present it. "Your honor," he said, "My client agrees that the lady has a
fine piece of property, that he did rent such property for a time, and a
degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my client
found a well on the property around which he placed his own stones, sunk a
shaft, and erected a pump, all labor performed personally by him. We claim
these improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid
amount, and that the plaintiff was adequately compensated for the rental of
said property. We, therefore, ask that judgment not be granted."
The young lady's lawyer answered thusly, "Your honor, my client agrees
that the defendant did find a well on her property. However, had the
defendant not known that the well existed, he would never have rented
the property. Also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed
the stones, pulled out the shaft, and took the pump with him. In doing
so, he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery, but left the
hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making the property
much less desirable to others. We, therefore, ask that judgment be
In the Judge's decision, he provided for two options: "Pay the $125.00
or have the equipment detached and presented to the plaintiff for damages."
The defendant wrote a check immediately!
A Chinese man had three daughters, he asked his eldest
daughter what kind of man she would like to marry.
"I would like to marry a man with three dragons on his
chest", said the eldest daughter.
He then asked his second daughter who she would like
"I would like to marry a man with two dragons on his
chest", said the second daughter.
He finally asked his youngest daughter who she would
like to marry.
The youngest daughter replies, "I would like to marry
a man with one draggin' on the ground".
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying
in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie.
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you
one wish, anything that you want."
The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking vodka." Finally
the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss
The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass
out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He looks at the glass and
it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like
vodka. So he takes a tast and it is the best vodka that he has ever tasted.
The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly." She comes
running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the
cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, that it is vodka.
Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best vodka
that she has ever tasted. The two drink and party all night.
The next night the Russian comes home from work and tells his wife
to get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two
glasses. The result is the same, the vodka is excellent and the couple
drink until the sun comes up.
Finally, Friday night comes and the Russian tells his wife to grab one
glass from the cupboard and we will drink vodka. She gets the glass but
asks him "Boris, why do we only need one glass?"
Boris raises the glass and says, "Because tonight my love, you drink from
Page maintained by Wesley Moore. Copyright(c) Wesley Moore, 3rd. Created: 4/19/99 Updated: 1 /16 /2000