How cold is it?
60 - Californians put on sweaters
(if they can find one in their wardrobe)
50 - Miami residents turn on the heat
40 - You can see your breath
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans go swimming
35 - Italian cars don't start
32 - Water freezes
30 - You plan your vacation to Australia
Minnesotans put on T-shirts
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
British cars don't start
Your boogers freeze
25 - Boston water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Minnesotans eat ice cream
Canadians go swimming
20 - You can hear your breath
Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
New York City water freezes
Miami residents plan vacation further South
15 - French cars don't start
You plan a vacation in Mexico
Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10 - Too cold to ski
You need jumper cables to get the car going
5 - You plan your vacation in Houston
American cars don't start - Oh, they do too
0 - Alaskans put on T-shirts
Too cold to skate
-10 - German cars don't start
Eyes freeze shut when you blink
-15 - You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects
Miami residents cease to exist
-20 - Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
Politicians actually do something about the homeless
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
Japanese cars don't start
-25 - Too cold to think
You need jumper cables to get the driver going
-30 - You plan a two week hot bath
The Mighty Monongahela freezes
Swedish cars don't start
[Eskimos put on shirts]
-40 - Californians disappear
Minnesotans button top button
Canadians put on sweaters
Your car helps you plan your trip South
-50 - Congressional hot air freeze
Alaskans close the bathroom window
-80 - Hell freezes over
Polar bears move south
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the
second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks
nothing of it and is about to hit when he hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron."
The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. Again, he hears,
"Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog
wrong, puts the club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches
from the cup. He is shocked.
He says to the frog, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?
The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole..
"What do you think frog?," the man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and, Boom! Hole in one. The man is
befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man
golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas."
They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?"
The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette
table, the man asks, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies,
"Ribbit $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot
to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck.
Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table. The man takes his
winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and
says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money
and I am forever grateful"..
The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss Me."
He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserves it.
With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room. So help me God
or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."
Page maintained by Wesley Moore. Copyright(c) Wesley Moore, 3rd. Created: 4/19/99 Updated: 9/14/99