Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a
beautiful, enticing female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over
themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up
arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless
before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance
from her in return.
Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides
to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words "liver"
and "cheese" together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out
The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says "I love liver and
"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or
She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said "How well can you
"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.
"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as
the Lab's sentence."
She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says "How about you, little
The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the
Taco Bell Chihuahua. He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the
Golden Retriever and the Lab and says......
"Liver alone. Cheese mine."
Two old men were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a
flower show was in progress. One leaned over the other and said,
"Cripes! life is boring, we never have any fun these days. For two bucks,
I'd take my clothes off and streak through the flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old fellow, holding up two dollars. As fast as
he could, the first old man fumbled his way out of his clothes and
completely naked, streaked through the front door of the town hall.
Waiting outside, his friend heard a huge commotion inside the hall,
followed by loud applause. The naked old man burst out through the door
surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"How did it go?" asked his friend.
"Great!" he said, "I won first prize as a DRIED ARRANGEMENT!"
A man commented to a friend that he had just killed five flies; three were
males and two were females.
The friend asked, "How in the world did you know the sex of the flies?"
"Easy, " he said"
"Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."
Page maintained by Wesley Moore. Copyright(c) Wesley Moore, 3rd. Created: 4/19/99 Updated: 10/27/01