Free Speech on the Web


Home--Jokes Homepage
Superman was feeling bored after a long streak of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party, so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club and pick up some girls.
Batman said Robin was ill and he had to look after him. A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman.
As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Women naked on the bed with her legs open.
Superman thought to himself: "I'm faster than a speeding bullet I could be in there, have sex, and be out again before she knew what was happening." So Superman did his super thing in a split second and flew off happily.
Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder Women said: " Did you hear something?" "No!" said the Invisible Man, "but my ass hurts like hell!"


To Whom It May Concern:

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult, in order to accept the responsibilities of a six-year-old. The tax base is lower. I want to be six again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think it's the best place in the world to eat.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make waves with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money, because you can eat them.

I want to play kickball during recess and stay up on Christmas Eve waiting to hear Santa and Rudolph on the roof.

I long for the days when life was simple. When all you knew were your colors, the addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but it didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know, and you didn't care.

I want to go to school and have snack time, recess, gym and field trips.

I want to be happy, because I don't know what should make me upset.

I want to think the world is fair and everyone in it is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. Sometime, while I was maturing, I learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, prejudice, starving and abused kids, lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain and mortality. I want to be six again.

I want to think that everyone, including myself, will live forever, because I don't know the concept of death.

I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want television to be something I watch for fun, not something used for escape from the things I should be doing.

I want to live knowing the little things that I find exciting will always make me as happy as when I first learned them. I want to be six again.

I remember not seeing the world as a whole, but rather being aware of only the things that directly concerned me.

I want to be naive enough to think that if I'm happy, so is everyone else.

I want to walk down the beach and think only of the sand beneath my feet and the possibility of finding that blue piece of sea glass I'm looking for.

I want to spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike, letting the grownups worry about time, the dentist and how to find the money to fix the car.

I want to wonder what I'll do when I grow up and what I'll be, who I'll be and not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out. I want that time back.

I want to use it now as an escape, so that when my computer crashes, or I have a mountain of paperwork, or two depressed friends, or a fightwith my spouse, or bittersweet memories of times gone by, or second thoughts about so many things, I can travel back and build a snowman, without thinking about anything except whether the snow sticks together and what I can possibly use forthe snowman's mouth.

I want to be six again.



A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate.

All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong" asks the mother. "I was having a wee and this bullet came out" replies the daughter. The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago.

About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. "Mom, I was having a wee and this bullet came out". Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago.

A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. "It's okay" says the mom, "I know what happened, you were having a wee and a bullet came out." "No," says the boy, "I was jerking off and I shot the dog."

Home--Jokes Homepage

Page maintained by Wesley Moore. Copyright(c) Wesley Moore, 3rd. Created: 4/19/99 Updated: 11/20/99