You Know You Need a Vacation When:
You find yourself thinking of reasons why you need a vacation.
You start dreaming about work.
You spend your off time thinking about work.
You find yourself creating a "You Know You Need a Vacation When:" Web page.
You start thinking of early death from job stress as a comfort.
You spend all your off time in your kids' pool dreaming of the Bahamas.
Your kids' primary chore is to wear Hawaiian outfits and keep you supplied with Pina Coladas.
You have to grit your teeth all day long to keep from screaming.
You start hallucinating tropical fish in the company water cooler.
You start having nightmares that you are chained to your desk.
You wake up without the alarm on Sunday Morning and automatically start getting dressed for work.
You start answering calls at home with your work greeting.
You turn off all the ringers on your home phones because you can't stand to hear the phone ring.
When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "good morning" to everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to slap the shit out of her"
When someone comes in and announces, "Office meeting in 5 minutes," and you think, "What the f..k do they want now?"
When your computer is mysteriously turned off and you want to say, "Which one of you sons of bitches turned off my computer?"
When you and a co-worker are discussing something, and a third person comes in and says, "Well, at my last office...", and you want to throw a stapler at them.
When you hear a co-worker call your name and the first thing that crosses your mind is, "What the hell does this bitch want now?" and you try to hide underneath your desk.
When you are asked to stay late and help do someone else's work and the first thing that pops in your head is, "Both of y'all can kiss my ass!!"
When you're in the elevator and it stops to pick up someone who stood for five minutes waiting for the darn thing only to go DOWN one floor, and you say "That lazy bastard."
When you take some vacation time and come back to find a mountain of paperwork sitting on your desk because no one else would do it and you think,"Sorry ass M#$^%F%s".
If you have ever thought about poisoning, choking, punching, slapping, or flattening someone's tires that you work with.
If you avoid saying more than hello or how are you doing to someone because you know it's going to lead to their life story.
1 through 5, and 8: Me
6,7 and 9: Whitney Crahen
10 and 11: Lois Stephens
12 and 13: Daisy (An isp Tech Support person)
14 through 23: Amy Calvez
Copyright 1998 Wesley Moore
Page maintained by
Wesley Moore [ email@example.com ]
Created: 3/21/98 Updated: 02/26/06