01-08-2000
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Little Moshe was busy doing his homework. As his
mother approached she heard:
"One and one, the son-of-a-bitch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bitch is four."
"Three and three... "
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned
this way of doing math. Moshe remarked that his
teacher Ms. Clara Jones taught him.
His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the
homework. The next day she stormed into Little Moshe's
classroom and confronted Ms. Jones. Little Moshe's
mother told Ms. Jones about Moshe's different way of
doing math and his claims that Ms. Jones taught it that
way to the class.
The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't
understand why Moshe had said what he did.
Then suddenly, Ms Jones exclaimed, "Oh, I know... here
in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is
two."
TOP
The world's greatest charade player brags that he can guess any
charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV special.
He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars to
guess a very hard charade on television. The Charade player agrees.
Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player is
sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens
to reveal seven nude young women.
The second and fourth ladies are holding their breasts, while the other
five have their backs to him and are baring their behinds.
The charade player barely glances over them and says, "The William Tell
Overture by Rossini."
The flabbergasted producer says in awe, "You've done i!. That's the
right answer. You are indeed the greatest charade player!" and hands him a
check for a million bucks.
Walking out, a reporter stops the charade player and ask him how he did
it.
"It's really simple," says the charade player. "One look at the
positions of the seven women, and I realized it as the William Tell
Overture."
"Rump... titty... rump... titty... rump... rump... rump."
TOP
Dec Rourke rented an apartment in New York, and went to the lobby
to put his name on the group mailbox. While there, an attractive young
lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
Dec smiled at the young girl and she struck up a conversation with
him. As they talked, her robe slipped open. It was quite obvious that
she had nothing on under the robe. Poor Dec broke into a sweat trying
to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on
his arm and said, "Let's go in my apartment, I hear someone coming..."
They proceeded into the apartment, and after she closed the door,
she leaned against it allowing her robe to fall completely open. She
purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
The flustered, embarrassed Dec stammered; cleared his throat
several times, and finally squeaked out, "Oh, it's got to be your ears!"
She was astounded! "Why my ears? Look at these boobs! They are
full, don't sag, and they're all mine! My butt - it's firm doesn't
sag, and has no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes, or scars!
Why in heaven's name would you say my ears are the best part of my
body?!"
Clearing his throat once again, Dec stammered - "Outside when you
said you heard someone coming - THAT WAS ME!"
TOP
Three gals (a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead) all work in the
same small office with the same female boss.
Everyday, they noticed the boss left work early. One day,
the girls decided that when the boss left, They'd leave too. After all.
she never called or came back, so how would she know?
The Brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little
gardening and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her
health club before meeting a dinner date.
The blonde was happy, happy , happy to be home, but when she got
to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly,
quietly , she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her
husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door
and crept out of her house.
The next day, at coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned
leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them.
"NO WAY," she exclaimed, "I almost got caught yesterday!!!!"
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Page maintained by Wesley Moore. Copyright(c) Wesley Moore, 3rd. Created: 4/19/99 Updated: 1 /8 /2000