Free Speech on the Web


Home--Jokes Homepage
On their wedding night, a young couple finally retired to their hotel room. After making her preparations, the bride left the bathroom to find the bridegroom on his knees in front of the bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm praying for guidance," answered the young man.

"I'll take care of that," she replied. "You better pray for endurance."


"Breakfast for Newlyweds"

This guy and his newlywed wife go to the Hilton for their honeymoon night. At the front desk, they check in, and the receptionist gives the groom the key to the bridal suite. Just then he says to the groom, "Sir, It is now 6 o' clock, dinner will be served from 7:30 onwards."

The groom looks at him and says, "Thank you, but we won't be needing any" and off he and his bride go to the room.

The whole evening the people next door the bridal suite are phoning down to the main desk to complain about all the moaning, which doesn't stop for one minute the whole night.

Next morning at 6am, the groom phones down to room service. "Hi, could I get some breakfast brought up here?"

"Sure, what would you like?" asks room service. The groom says, "Well, I have to replace all the energy I lost last night so you'd better get me 6 fried eggs, 9 sausages, 12 slices of toast and 6 liters of orange juice!"

Room service replies, "Gee, that's quite an appetite you got there. Is that for your wife as well, or just for you?"

"No, that's just for me. Can you send up six pieces of lettuce for my wife as well?"

Room service asks, "Why six pieces of lettuce?"

The groom replies, "I have to see if she can eat like a rabbit as well!!"

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?

If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. How old are you?. "I'm four and a half!" You're never 36 and a half. You're four and a half... going on five!

That's the key! You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. How old are you? "I'm gonna be 16." You could be 13, but hey, you're *gonna* be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life happens... you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony; ~~* YOU BECOME 21 *~~ YYYYYYES!!!

But then you turn 30. Ooohhh what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. "He TURNED, we had to throw him out." There's no fun now, you're just a sourpuss.

What's wrong?? What changed?? You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the breaks, it's all slipping away.

Before you know it, you REACH 50... and your dreams are gone. But wait, you MAKE IT to 60. You didn't think you'd would!!!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50, and MAKE IT to 60. You've build up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that, it's a day by day thing; you HIT Wednesday. You get into your 80's, and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch. You TURN 4:30. You REACH bedtime. (My grandmother won't even buy green bananas. It's an investment you know, and maybe a bad one.)

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again; "I'm 100 and a half!!!"

Home--Jokes Homepage

Page maintained by Wesley Moore. Copyright(c) Wesley Moore, 3rd. Created: 4/19/99 Updated: 7/25/99