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How about it?

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, I shut off the engine and coast into the garage, I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom, I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late."

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, How about a little?" and she pretends that she's asleep.

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and class room discussions. Most were from fifth- and sixth-graders. They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the "most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop."

One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
Many dead animals of the past changed to fossils, others preferred to be oil.
Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.
Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
In making rain water, it takes everything from H to O.
Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dog's tongue will kill the strongest man.
Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.
It is so hot in some parts of the world that the people there have to live other places.



1. Jesus is coming--everyone look busy.
2. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
3. Horn broken, watch for finger.
4. The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
5. If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
6. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
7. Hang up and drive.
8. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
9. Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!
10. Forget about world peace. Visualize using your turn signal
11. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
12. He/She who laughs last thinks slowest.
13. Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
> 15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

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Page maintained by Wesley Moore. Copyright(c) Wesley Moore, 3rd. Created: 4/19/99 Updated: 7/28/99