11-04-1999
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How to say..... "I LOVE YOU" in Different Languages
English........... I Love You
Spanish.......... Te Amo
French........... Je T'aime
German.......... Ich Liebe Dich
Japanese....... Ai Shite Imasu
Italian.......... Ti Amo
Chinese......... Wo Ai Ni
Swedish........ Jag Alskar Dig
Eskimo.......... Nagligivaget
Greek............ S'Agapo
Hawaiian....... Aloha Wau la Oe
Irish............. Thaim In Grabh Leat
Hebrew......... Ani Ohev Otakh
Russian........ Ya Lyublyu Tyebya
Albanian....... Une Te Dua
Finnish......... Mina Rakkastan Sinua
Turkish........ Seni Seviyorum
Hungarian...... Se Ret Lay
Persian....... Du Stet Daram
Maltese....... Jien Inhobbok
Catalan...... Testimo Molt
Redneck .... Nice Boobs
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A young couple got married & went on a cruise for their honeymoon.
When they got back from the honeymoon, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," said her mom, "how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mom," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic, we had a terrific time!
But Mom,as soon as we returned, he began using really horrible language, stuff I'd
never heard before, really terrible4-letter words, you've got to come get
me and take me home.
"But honey," the mother asked, "what kind of 4-letter
words?" Sobbing, the bride said, "words like dust, wash, iron and cook."
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"IF DEAR ABBY WERE A MAN"
Dear Abby:
Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm
afraid he will not be faithful.
A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to
increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having
a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love
for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive
present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this
aspect of his behaviour.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour - and it should be
encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove
his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a
night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get
back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back
at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to
his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice,
expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention
this aspect of his behaviour.
Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and
my sister.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of
you, so he goes for the next best thing - your sister. Far from
being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why
not some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then
let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive
present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this
aspect of his behaviour.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him.
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10
calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep
your figure and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly,
a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with
him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a
man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him,
buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.
Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must
mess with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family
budget you may wish to video tape yourself while doing this,
and to sell it at car-boot sales. To ease your selfish
guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present, and cook him a
delicious meal.
Q: My husband goes straight to sleep after making love - we have
no time to talk.
A: Sex is an extremely difficult task for a man. Afterwards he
needs rest. In fact, the more he loves you, the more hard work
his love-making is, and the more rest he needs. Stop putting
pressure on him. Buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook
him a nice meal.
Q: My husband's efforts at lovemaking only last 30 seconds.
A: Your husband loves you very much. He is so turned on by you
that he cannot control himself. In fact, the shorter the 'effort'
the more he loves you. Return this love by buying a nice,
expensive present, and cooking him a nice meal.
Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do
not love your man as much as you should - he has to work a lot to
get you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make
it up to him by buying a nice expensive present, and cooking a
nice meal.
Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant,
man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't
mention it again to him and show your love to him by buying a
nice expensive present ..and don't forget to cook him a
delicious meal.
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Page maintained by Wesley Moore. Copyright(c) Wesley Moore, 3rd. Created: 4/19/99 Updated: 11/4/99