11-10-2001
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Three guys, a Canadian, Osama Bin Ladin and President Bush are out walking
together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the
Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will
also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a
blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile
for farming.
Osama Bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan,
so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."
Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around
Afghanistan.
President Bush says, "I'm very curious, please tell me more about this
wall."
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 1500 feet thick and
completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out. It is
virtually impenetrable."
President Bush says, "Fill it with water."
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Groaners
Two men were in the process of inventing a new brand of gum. They were
arguing over the fact that their new gum was too hard and brittle and
didn't have the right consistency. One of the inventors kept arguing that
they simply had to add more liquid to their primary secret ingredient,
code named "Yewin".
The other man argued adamantly. "No, No, No! It's not wetter Yewin that
counts...it's how you ply the gum!
So there's this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory
except that certain miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would
steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following
sign: "This parking space belongs to the Wizard. ...Violators will be
toad."
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A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The
parrot, an oversexed male, sneaks out and screws the next door neighbors
turkeys. The neighbors discover what is going on and inform the
parrot's owners. The owners apologize to their neighbors. They then
reprimand the parrot and tell him if he doesn't stop it they're going to
shave his head.
That night the parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out one more time and
screws his neighbors turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the
bird down and proceeds to shave his head.
The following morning is the farmer's daughter's wedding. In order to
please the relative that gave them the parrot, they sit the parrot on a
piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and
tell them where to sit in the church.
The parrot does a great job. "Groom's side to the left and bride's side to
the right."
Finally two bald guys walk in. The parrot takes one look at them and says,
"And you two turkey fuckers, up on the piano with me."
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The minister had just finished an excellent chicken dinner at the home of a
member of his congregation. Sitting on the porch after dinner he saw a
rooster come strutting through the yard. "That's certainly a
proud-looking rooster you have there," the minister commented.
"Yes sir," replied the farmer. "He has reason to be proud, one of his sons
just entered the ministry!"
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Page maintained by Wesley Moore. Copyright(c) Wesley Moore, 3rd. Created: 4/19/99 Updated: 11/10/01